Thursday, November 17, 2005

Vaccines

In the past, I’ve discussed the numerous crazies that I deal with in the office on a daily basis. Many of them have legitimate concerns – but every once in a while they reach an extreme. For instance: I received a letter today that read exactly this:

Dear Mr. Yak:

Attached is the information I talked to you about yesterday reference (sic) a new, antimicrobial material and bandage design that may help the lateral trransmission (sic) of the vaccinia (sic) virus so that smallpox inoculation may be safely administered.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Saul Greenbaum (name fabricated, but you get the idea)

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this is worthy. But, …… WHAT??? Am I really the person to talk to? How am I supposed to help this guy out? He included letters he had written (and in some cases other communication) to a United States Senator from Florida, The Mayor of New York, Senator Hillary Clinton, the CDC in Atlanta and other stuff.

Evidently Saul thinks that I can snap my fingers and give him the go ahead to stop the the lateral trransmission of the vaccinia. Trust me Saul, I’m really not very important.

So if anyone out there knows of a good way to help Saul (maybe you work for the Health Department) let me know and I’ll get back to him, as soon as possible.

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Gertrude has gone off the deep end. I’m no doctor (see above) but this woman is truly crazy. She sits in her office most of the day and reads a book. Every once in a while she’ll scream something at the people working in the office.

Today she screamed:

“Let’s not guess at our answers.”

She also has developed a penchant for blatantly disagreeing with the Bossman – so she’ll change things for the sake of changing things. It’s very hard because you have to balance your work but you are consistently getting conflicting messages. I usually ignore both of them

Working in this office can be very tricky.

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Good news, supplies came in today. I’m ready to hit the subway with Glue Sticks. Sure, I can’t get a fucking tape dispenser, but if you need a glue stick – you know who to talk to.

1 Comments:

Blogger ew said...

Smallpox is so 2001 - - oh no wait, 1977. Had Saul determined the next pandemic flu strain and come up with a delivery device for its vaccine, then maybe you could track down someone at the health department for him, or better yet (soapbox alert!) since public health has been sucked into / coopted by bioterrorism and security issues, the State Department or DOD. "Vaccinia virus" is actually correct - - it's the virus in smallpox vaccines. But allowing two additional typos, having no institutional affiliation, and writing poor Frank since the author apparently has no friends or hobbies indeed make Saul prime "crazy" material. The only incentive to respond is that if you don't, you could find white powder in your office mail from Saul posing as a disgruntled anonymous constituent. So 2001...

5:01 PM  

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